Swiggity swooty, do he got the booty?
Did you just mix two of tumblr’s trends for this week together?
bitch they might have
Welcome to the hall. A place of everything and anything. Beware.
She’s the mythical siren, voluptuous and irresistible, leading innocent ships to their doom. She’s the girl at the party, the one that made love to you from across the room with just her eyes, who you make a beeline for the moment you see her, even if you came to the party with another girl. But the by the time you reach her, you’ll bump into every other guy there, because chances are they were all headed for her. But want to know the truly frightening thing? She can destroy all thirty of you in a single moment. She is a Scorpion after all—did you think that stinger was just decorative?
Now, if you haven’t wet your pants or rushed off to join a monastery, let me point out that the Scorpio woman is vengeful and dangerous but not evil. I said that she could destroy all thirty of you, not that she would or that she would even want to. She can defend herself when needed, won’t take abuse or rudeness from anyone, and will go down fighting if necessary. But she’s neither vindictive, nor is she evil. On the contrary, beneath that sexy, feminine exterior, lies the purest and most virtuous of hearts. It just doesn’t get any better than courting a typical Scorpio woman. She’s more romantic than the Cancer woman, more passionate than the Leo, more feminine than the Piscean, more promiscuous than the Sagittarian, and more adventurous than the Aries. There is no such thing as a boring date with a Scorpio woman—it’s impossible. She’s a fantastic conversationalist, a flawless dresser, an elegant companion, and a passionate lover. These are all the reasons why you got down on one knee, after all, and they’re why you put up with her occasional temper tantrums, or her penchant for judging you. Do you realize that despite the rare flaw that she shows every so often, she’s the very personification of the ideal woman? A Scorpio woman is more a mistress than a wife, and I mean that in the best way possible. She’s high-maintenance, but worth it. She needs constant attention, and won’t shy away from reminding you when you fail to provide it. She’s not like the Cancer wife, who will sulk if neglected, nor is she like the Gemini wife, who is secretly grateful for the solitude. No, the Scorpion wife will hunt you down and hurt you if you hurt her, such that by the time she’s vented her anger, you’ll be left counting your equipment, not rubbing them.
Most Scorpio women are talented chefs; they approach cooking with the same passion that they do lovemaking, so you won’t have any complaints in either the kitchen or the bedroom.
Being critical is part of her nature, so get used to it. She’ll tell you how thoughtful her best friend’s husband was on their anniversary, or how much money her old high school boyfriend makes at his executive position. This will no doubt rile you, but don’t even think about returning the favor and comparing her to another woman, or you’ll have to stitch on a new pair so that she tore off you. See, she points out your faults to motivate you to be the best man you can be, but this is only in private. Outside of the two of you, if anyone from a stranger to her best friend or even her mother makes the slightest negative comment about you, she’ll tear them to pieces. She is fiercely loyal and protective of you.
Scorpio women make the best mothers, and it’s because they are natural caregivers and nurturers. There’ll be a tendency to coddle the children and smother them with attention, but the kids won’t complain. They know she has their best interest at heart, and that her kitchen table, like her heart, will always have a place for them.
She may be high-maintenance, and might expect you to improve yourself every moment of your marriage. But it’s because she’s the best there is, and the best always costs a little bit more. Give her whatever she asks for, because she’s worth it. After all, when a Scorpio enters your life, can you really turn her away?